Marriage Facts

The word "marriage" comes from the Latin word, "disease."

Buttons: The Real Deal

Buttons do not come in all shapes and sizes.  They actually all come from one large button that was first invented in Italy.  The best way to explain button production is by explaining how to make sour dough bread.  First, you need a "starter."  A starter is dough with yeast that you save forever.  Each time you make sourdough bread, you incorporate the old dough, forever.

Guiseppe Primavera was from the Isle of Lido, right down the road from Venice.  He worked for his father in the real estate business.  This guy came in one day and said, hey I've got this plastic that maybe you could use for something useful.  He said this as Guiseppe was applying egg yolk to his shirt to keep it closed.  Guiseppe and his dad went outside to investigate the plastic mound and after a brief conversation that sounded like, "Pizza pizza prego," they agreed to purchase the plastic.  That night Guiseppe had a wild dream about circles and fashion and a hot air balloon that brought him to a strange arena where goats were humans and also Shakespeare was there.  He woke at 3am and rushed outside, clearly inspired.  He cut three tiny circles off the giant plastic mound and then poked two holes in the circles.  He then used horse tail hair to "sew" the buttonmatica to the shirt.  (Translation and time manipulated the word buttonmatica to the modern word button.)

To this day, all buttons still come from this very same plastic mound.

Facts about Writing a Song

Facts about Music Writing.  Follow these instructions and you can write hits just like your favorite hit makers!

Play 3-4 different notes four times each two times.  Then, introduce a new note, usually higher or lower.  Play this new part two times then go back to the original 3-4 notes, twice.  Next, go back to that same new note, then play the original part once, add some hand claps, fade out. Hit.  Advance musicology has not progressed enough to distinguish notes from one another, so it's best to designate names for the notes so you don't get confused. 

We'll call the first note "Yellow."
Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow

The second note we'll call "Potatoes."
Potato Potato Potato Potato

The third note will be "Our Lady of Perpetual Hope."
Our Lady of Perpetual Hope Our Lady of Perpetual Hope Our Lady of Perpetual Hope Our Lady of Perpetual Hope

Play Yellow again
Yellow Yellow Yellow Yellow

REPEAT THE WHOLE THING

**INTRODUCTION OF NEW HIGHER OR LOWER NOTE ALERT!**
NEW SPECIAL NOTE will be called "Heather."

Never  play your instrument when you are conscious.  And never
put the instrument in the upright position.  It puts stress on the neck
and the circle parts that are also silver.  It is important not to sneak
up on your instrument.  
Let it know you are approaching by shouting, "Look Out Behind You!" 

Heather Heather Heather Heather
Yellow Yellow
Potato Potato
Our Lady of Perpetual Hope Our Lady of Perpetual Hope
Yellow Yellow
Potato Potato
Our Lady of Perpetual Hope Our Lady of Perpetual Hope
Heather Heather Yellow Yellow Heather Heather Yellow Yellow Heather Heather
*Hand Clap Hand Clap quick, Hand Clap Hand Clap slow*
Yellow Yellow
Potato Potato
Our Lady of Perpetual Hope Ourladyofperpetualho......

This is top secret industry science.  I hope this helps.  I've been helping hit makers for years now.

Facts about Babies

People always say, "Oh babies are such a mystery!"  Here are some things you should know should you decide to get a baby:

1.  Babies have no neck spines until they are 3 years old.  They are filled with honey, one kidney, half and half, and a tiny heart.  The heart doubles as the stomach for the first 4 months, fact.

2.  Babies have fly vision, as well.  This is because their brains are kaleidoscopes.  After they open presents on their 5th birthday, their brain transforms into an adult brain.

3.  Buy your baby a pet snake.  See earlier post, but to recap, babies and snakes are best friends, especially rattle snakes.

4.  Babies enjoy sausage sandwiches and no one ever gives it to them.  This is why they cry so much.

5.  Babies need alone time, just as much as adults.  You and your baby will both be happier if you have time apart.


I really hope this helps!  Best of luck in acquiring a baby baby.