What a deal!

Read below for real facts about good ideas:

1.  If you are purchasing something at a store and you notice they offer gift wrapping, tell them to go ahead and wrap it up, even if what you are buying is for yourself.  From here you have two options: a. Hide the present somewhere in your house.  Wait 5 minutes. "Discover" the present and unwrap it like a child would at a birthday party.  "How unexpected! A gift!"  Option b. Open the package carefully and save the wrapping paper for someone who actually deserves a gift.  It's free paper!

2.  When ordering something online and they offer "include message," say yes.  Always say yes.  This affords you the opportunity to write a message to yourself from your "secret admirer" or dead relative.  "Dear Katie, I saw this and thought of you.  Wish I wasn't dead.  Love, Grandpa."  By the time the gift arrives (because you know you chose the cheapest shipping method), you will have forgotten about the message and it will be a real treat!

3.  If you have a light bulb that burns out, drive to a nearby campus and look for a dorm.  Tell the front desk that you are waiting for Jill Richards.  Look for a lamp and unscrew the lightbulb.  Put the bulb in your purse and go to exit.  Take a call from "Jill" on your cell phone as you exit. "Oh hey Jill!  Oh I was supposed to meet you there!" (trail off...) Turn around and go back in and ask to use a restroom.  Help yourself to a few rolls of TP while you are in there.  Wait 5 long seconds, flush, pretend to wash your hands then leave!  It's a one stop shop!

4.  To boost self-esteem find a ukelele and pretend like it's a regular size guitar.  This will make you feel gigantic.

5.  There's no real need to own a watch when you can just draw one on your wrist.  Look at your phone to update the time.

You are welcome!