Facts about Steve Jobs & Ricky Martin

Most people are unaware of the close kinship of Steve Jobs and Ricky Martin.  Ricky was Steve Jobs' muse.  When Steve, or as Ricky would call him, "Tiny bite," would have a creative block, he would call Ricky and Ricky would sing him this song:

La la la la bamba
Necessito manzanas
Feliz Navidad, por favor burrito
Mordedura minuscula
Mordedura minuscula
la la la la la bamba

Tiny Bite would curl the cord to his land line phone around his finger and kick his legs in delight.

The Beginning:

Steve and Ricky met when Steve was a sound engineer at the Lakefront Arena in New Orleans.  Ricky always went out of his way to thank everyone involved in making his concerts a success.  He introduced himself to Steve, "Hola Steve.  I am name is es Ricky."  "Hi Ricky. I am Steve Jobs."  "Hola Steve Yob." "Hola Ricky."  "Hello Mr. Steve."  "Good Day Ricky."  "Buenas Dias Senor Yob."  "Bon Jour Ricardo." "G'day Stevey Weevey." "Rats off to ya Rick!"  This went on for several minutes.

Ever since that day, the two became inseparable.  "Stevey! Guess who as two ticket to dennylan? Si! It is es me!  Ricky!"  Or..."Tiny Bite, you need to come over es right now.  Pam made some es salsa and it has mangoes in it your favorite."

iPOD Nano:

Steve wanted to be able to listen to Ricky Martin whenever he wanted.  He loved the treadmill and hated carrying around a cumbersome boom box as was customary in the late 1900's.  With his background as a sound engineer, he developed the Aye Papi!  But American investors did not like the Latino sound of the name.  They changed it to iPod.  The word Nano came from Steve's pet name for Ricky.  His little "Nano," or cute little baby.

The Future:

As everyone knows, Steve was electructed in early 2011.  Ricky remains sad.

Facts about Mother Teresa

Originally from upstate Massachusetts, Teresa Scorintino was born in 1922 to Dolores and Ricky, a seamstress and a postman.  She was a huge baby, short and fat - 14lbs, 3 inches.  Dolores was murdered by Ricky when Teresa was eleven.  Teresa came home to find her mom in her dad's burlap postal bag.  He affixed an address to it:  123 Bering Strait to Hell!  "I'll show her," he muttered. "Next time you want me to 'pick up some milk on the way home,' maybe you'll think twice, eh?  Maybe you'll think twice.  Yeah, that's what I thought.  Oh hey Teresa, why own shoe bring daddy his cigarettes, eh?  That's a good girl.  Kiss your ma goodnight.  Look what she did?  You see that?  She sewed herself in this sack like a pillow. Ain't she weird?"  

The news of the murder shook the tiny town of New Branswick, but put them on the map for originating the term, "going postal." 

Despite this early trauma, Teresa went on to join the New York City Ballet as a principal dancer.  This led to a long career in the theatre and on the silver screen.  Perhaps best known for her role opposite Gregory Hines in the  movie "White Nights," Teresa was a magnificent dancer.  She is credited for developing the dance move, "The Over Under."  No one has been able to ever do this move.

While touring with the Eagles in Ohio, Teresa met a nice man by the name of Alberto Venezuela Alvarez, a Canadian light tech.  At the time she was dating Eagles roadie, Jonathan Flipmeyer.  One night Teresa overhead Jonathan telling Don Henley details of their sex life.  This upset Teresa very much and she rushed into the arms of Alberto. Alberto held her tight and promised he would never tell anyone about what they did between the sheets.  This pleased Teresa and they got married and had twin girls - Rachael and Diane.  They called her "Mother."

Teresa died in the Summer of 2011 of heat stroke while tending to her vegetable garden.